Tuesday, February 01, 2011

Nerd jokes du jour

Here's a collection of silly nerd jokes:

Some helium drifts into a bar. Bartender says: "Sorry, we don't serve noble gasses here." The helium doesn't react.

A neutron comes into a bar, asks for a drink. The bartender pushes a shot of scotch over the bar to the neutron, who asks "How much?" The bartender says "Hey, for you, no charge!"

Q. Why did the chicken cross the möbius strip?
A. To get to the same side.

A neutrino walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't have anything for neutrinos here." The neutrino says, "I'm just passing through."

Werner Heisenberg: great physicist, terrible lover: When he had the right position, he didn't have the right speed. Whenever he had the energy, he never had the time.

The tachyon leaves. The bartender says "We don't serve tachyons." A tachyon enters a bar.

A hydrogen atom walks into a bar and says "Gimme a drink; I just lost my electron!" The bartender says "Are you sure?" The hydrogen atom says "Yes, I'm positive!"

A. To get to the other side.
Q. Why did the tachyon cross the road?

Why did Heisenberg hate driving?
Because every time he looked at the speedometer, he got lost.

‎"Physics is like sex: sure, it may give some practical results, but that's not why we do it." - Richard Feynman.

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