Saturday, January 14, 2006

"George Bush is a saint!"

Bush has been suffering from lower approval ratings than Nixon did at the zenith of his stupidity. So, in an effort to bolster his public image, he scheduled a visit to the D.C. Methodist Church for a display of piety.

One of Karl Rove's boys made a visit to the Methodist bishop and said to him "We've been getting a lot of bad publicity among Methodists because of Bush's position on stem cell research and the like. We'd gladly make a contribution to this church of $100,000 if, during your sermon, you'd say the President is a saint."

The bishop thinks it over for a few moments and finally says, "We really are in desperate need of funds. I'll do it."

A few days later, Bush pompously shows up with lots of press. The bishop gets up and says, "Before I begin my sermon, I'd like to say something about today's distinguished visitor." Bush preens a little and looks especially smug, and the bishop continues with "George Bush is a petty, self-absorbed hypocrite and a nitwit. He is a liar, a cheat, and a low-intelligence weasel. He has lied about his military record and had the gall to put himself in a jet plane landing on a carrier posing before a banner stating 'Mission Accomplished.' He invaded a country for oil and money, and is using it to lie to the American people. He is the worst example of a Methodist it's ever been my displeasure to know."

The bishop pauses and then says "But, compared to Dick Cheney, Karl Rove, and the rest of Bush's cabinet, George Bush is a saint!"


Quick thoughts on a Satyrday afternoon

I'm ignoring the distant early warning signs of a cold that Susan and the Babe have had and getting work done on an article that's due tomorrow night. There's a Seahawk game on this afternoon that'll be an excellent time to hit the treadmill--I always like to do treadmilling when there's something worth watching on the idiot box--and then I'll get back to work.

I have a zillion pictures of the cats being incredibly cute, but it'll take a while to format them. I want to get more words on paper.


Avian flu symptoms

Given the hoof-handed way in which we're dealing with bird flu, it's important to be on the lookout for signs of Avian Influenza. Symptoms include:

  • Fever

  • Chest congestion

  • Nausea

  • Persistent fatigue

  • Aching joints

  • Irresistible urge to crap on a windshield

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