Due to the fact that Michael Jackson was 99% plastic when he died, he's being melted down into Lego blocks so children can play with him for a change.
Friday, June 26, 2009
Michael Jackson jokes are happening....
They're popping up....
Due to the fact that Michael Jackson was 99% plastic when he died, he's being melted down into Lego blocks so children can play with him for a change.
Due to the fact that Michael Jackson was 99% plastic when he died, he's being melted down into Lego blocks so children can play with him for a change.
REEEEEEEALLY tasteless joke!
This is so totally tasteless... but y'gotta admit that this is comedy gold we're mining here!
Right!
So, Farrah Fawcett dies. She gets up to the Pearly Gates and there's a huge crowd there to welcome her. St. Peter says "Head right in!"
A crowd of angels escorts her in and takes her right to the Celestial Throne.
God stands up, comes down and hugs her, and says "My child, you were a wonderful entertainer. I'm sorry you had a painful end, but all your suffering is now behind you. You may have anything you wish."
Farrah says "Anything?"
God says "Anything. What would you like as your heavenly reward?"
Farrah thinks a moment and says "I want all the children in the world to be safe."
And God says "Fine!" and killed Michael Jackson.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Homeland Security, by any other name...
...would be just as bad. The original Department of Homeland Security was something from Germany in the 30s and early 40s, with the “Abteilung der Heimat-Sicherheit” ("Department of Homeland Security"). What I hadn't stopped to consider was that the Soviet "Komitet Gosudarstvennoy Bezopasnosti” (better known as the KGB) translates as "Committee for State Security." There's a lovely short piece about this obsession with "security" here.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Add this clause to your next contract
C. Responsibilities of Consultant
Consultant shall observe and abide by all laws, rules, and regulations of the federal, state, city, and municipal governments (and subdivisions or agencies thereof) as they apply to the work described herein and shall assume all liability for loss by reason of neglect, error, mistake, omission, or violation of such laws, rules, and regulations.
Consultant agrees to marry the daughter/son (as appropriate) of the poorest member of the Engineer’s clan and to kill all enemies opposing the proposed project. Choice of weapons and means of burial are determined by the Owner in accordance to Section 25-A. This Agreement to indemnify and save harmless the Owner and the Engineers shall extend to include all expenses incidental to subsequent investigation, defense, and settlement of such claims (including claims to Workmen’s Compensation) of any person or corporation, including claims of the Owner, Engineer’s clan, or the agents or employees of each of them. Trophies taken from the bodies of the dead found at the site of the project or taken in field studies will remain property of the Owner.
Consultant shall observe and abide by all laws, rules, and regulations of the federal, state, city, and municipal governments (and subdivisions or agencies thereof) as they apply to the work described herein and shall assume all liability for loss by reason of neglect, error, mistake, omission, or violation of such laws, rules, and regulations.
Consultant agrees to marry the daughter/son (as appropriate) of the poorest member of the Engineer’s clan and to kill all enemies opposing the proposed project. Choice of weapons and means of burial are determined by the Owner in accordance to Section 25-A. This Agreement to indemnify and save harmless the Owner and the Engineers shall extend to include all expenses incidental to subsequent investigation, defense, and settlement of such claims (including claims to Workmen’s Compensation) of any person or corporation, including claims of the Owner, Engineer’s clan, or the agents or employees of each of them. Trophies taken from the bodies of the dead found at the site of the project or taken in field studies will remain property of the Owner.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Very good choral piece
"I Bless the Rains Down in Africa" done by Perpetuum Jazzile, a Slovenian jazz choir, who do a very nice simulation of a rainstorm using their hands before they start singing.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Spiders on drugs, spiders on drugs
We've all heard about spiders being given minute quantities of this and that and then being observed to see what kinds of webs they build. This is a truly funny video about woodspiders on drugs. It's less than 2 minutes long and I promise you'll love it. Watch the whole thing.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Thought on gun control
One of the most popular reasons given by gun owners on why it's important for a free America to keep their guns is for the protection and preservation of their rights: no-one, supposedly, will infringe or take away their Constitutional rights as long as they've got guns.
I guess there were no gun owners in the US for the 8 years of the Bush Administration.
I guess there were no gun owners in the US for the 8 years of the Bush Administration.
Yeah, like this one's rocket surgery....
Fla. city to workers: Wear underwear, deodorant
BROOKSVILLE, Fla. – A Florida city is cleaning up with a new dress code that requires city workers to wear underwear and use deodorant. The city council in Brooksville north of Tampa recently approved a dress code that instructs employees to observe "strict personal hygiene."
Rest of the story here.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Want a great job in Seattle?
An old and dear friend of mine just sent me a job listing for an Interactive Designer job in Seattle at a great company (Fitch; they do advertising and marketing work) with an incredible team, really fun products, nice offices, a great location (downtown Seattle), and probably a pretty decent salary. I don't know that last one for sure, but I'm willing to make a wager that it's true.
So, if you know someone who’s got interactive designer credentials, likes the look of the job description, and wants to work FT in Seattle, aim them at me and I’ll give them the name of the person to talk to there. You’re more than welcome to pass this around to anyone you like. Have them email me here.
So, if you know someone who’s got interactive designer credentials, likes the look of the job description, and wants to work FT in Seattle, aim them at me and I’ll give them the name of the person to talk to there. You’re more than welcome to pass this around to anyone you like. Have them email me here.
Monday, June 15, 2009
"Alcohol: the cause of... and the solution to... all of life's problems!"
A lovely French video (don't worry, you won't need to understand what they're saying) about animals in Africa enjoying an annual treat of fermented fruits.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
A great version of the Bible
I stumbled, almost literally, over a version of the Bible that you should look at.
It's the LOLCat Bible. (Srsly, d00dz!) To give you an idea, here's Genesis 1:
It's the LOLCat Bible. (Srsly, d00dz!) To give you an idea, here's Genesis 1:
Boreded Ceiling Cat makinkgz Urf n stuffs
1 Oh hai. In teh beginnin Ceiling Cat maded teh skiez An da Urfs, but he did not eated dem.
2 Da Urfs no had shapez An haded dark face, An Ceiling Cat rode invisible bike over teh waterz.
3 At start, no has lyte. An Ceiling Cat sayz, i can haz lite? An lite wuz.4 An Ceiling Cat sawed teh lite, to seez stuffs, An splitted teh lite from dark but taht wuz ok cuz kittehs can see in teh dark An not tripz over nethin.5 An Ceiling Cat sayed light Day An dark no Day. It were FURST!!!1
6 An Ceiling Cat sayed, im in ur waterz makin a ceiling. But he no yet make a ur. An he maded a hole in teh Ceiling.7 An Ceiling Cat doed teh skiez with waterz down An waterz up. It happen.8 An Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has teh firmmint wich iz funny bibel naim 4 ceiling, so wuz teh twoth day.
9 An Ceiling Cat gotted all teh waterz in ur base, An Ceiling Cat hadz dry placez cuz kittehs DO NOT WANT get wet.10 An Ceiling Cat called no waterz urth and waters oshun. Iz good.
11 An Ceiling Cat sayed, DO WANT grass! so tehr wuz seedz An stufs, An fruitzors An vegbatels. An a Corm. It happen.12 An Ceiling Cat sawed that weedz ish good, so, letz there be weedz.13 An so teh threeth day jazzhands.
14 An Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has lightz in the skiez for splittin day An no day.15 It happen, lights everwear, like christmass, srsly.16 An Ceiling Cat doeth two grate lightz, teh most big for day, teh other for no day.17 An Ceiling Cat screw tehm on skiez, with big nails An stuff, to lite teh Urfs.18 An tehy rulez day An night. Ceiling Cat sawed. Iz good.19 An so teh furth day w00t.
20 An Ceiling Cat sayed, waterz bring me phishes, An burds, so kittehs can eat dem. But Ceiling Cat no eated dem.21 An Ceiling Cat maed big fishies An see monstrs, which wuz like big cows, except they no mood, An other stuffs dat mooves, An Ceiling Cat sawed iz good.22 An Ceiling Cat sed O hai, make bebehs kthx. An dont worry i wont watch u secksy, i not that kynd uf kitteh.23 An so teh...fith day. Ceiling Cat taek a wile 2 cawnt.
24 An Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has MOAR living stuff, mooes, An creepie tings, An otehr aminals. It happen so tehre.25 An Ceiling Cat doed moar living stuff, mooes, An creepies, An otehr animuls, An did not eated tehm.
26 An Ceiling Cat sayed, letz us do peeps like uz, becuz we ish teh qte, An let min p0wnz0r becuz tehy has can openers.
27 So Ceiling Cat createded teh peeps taht waz like him, can has can openers he maed tehm, min An womin wuz maeded, but he did not eated tehm.
28 An Ceiling Cat sed them O hai maek bebehs kthx, An p0wn teh waterz, no waterz An teh firmmint, An evry stufs.
29 An Ceiling Cat sayed, Beholdt, the Urfs, I has it, An I has not eated it.30 For evry createded stufs tehre are the fuudz, to the burdies, teh creepiez, An teh mooes, so tehre. It happen. Iz good.
31 An Ceiling Cat sayed, Beholdt, teh good enouf for releaze as version 0.8a. kthxbai.
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