Monday, May 09, 2011

Green (as in ecologically) condoms

Ecologically better condoms. Well, okay, then.

FWIW, I always liked Stealth Condoms. Their motto was "They'll never see you coming." They came in a B-2-shaped package of 3: one each red, white, and blue. Northrup wanted to prevent their application for trademark. John Hughes, the owner of the condom company said that there was no POSSIBLE chance of confusion of the two products and, besides, he said, "We offer a heck of a lot more protection than the Stealth bomber, at a lot less cost...."

And, digging through my files looking for the info on Stealth Condoms, I spotted this list of possible slogans for National Condom Week:1. Cover your stump before you hump.
2. Before you attack her, wrap your talleywhacker.
3. Don't be silly, protect your willy.
4. When in doubt, shroud your spout.
5. Don't be a loner, cover your boner.
6. You can't be wrong, if you shield your dong.
7. If you're not gonna sack it, go home and whack it.
8. If you think she is spunky, cover your monkey.
9. It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter.
10. If you slip between her thighs, just be sure to condomize.
11. She won't get sick if you wrap your dick.
12. If you go into heat, package your meat.
13. While you are undressing Venus, dress up that penis.
14. When you take off her pants and blouse, suit up your trouser mouse.
15. Especially in December, wrap your member.
16. Never deck her with an unwrapped pecker.
17. Don't be a fool, vulcanize your tool.
18. The right selection, check your erection.
19. Wrap in foil before checking her oil.
20. A crank with armor will never harm her.

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