To all my friends who in 2007 sent me best wishes or promises of good luck on the condition that I forwarded something, these did NOT WORK.
For 2008, could you please just send either money, chocolate, or gasoline vouchers? Thanks.
Monday, February 18, 2008
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Knowledge vs. wisdom
Knowledge is knowing that tomatoes are a fruit. Wisdom is not adding them to the fruit salad.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
All-purpose disclaimer
I think this covers most eventualities.
Disclaimer: This is meant for educational purposes only. Send no money now. Ask your doctor or pharmacist. To prevent electric shock, do not open back panel. No user serviceable parts inside. You may or may not have additional rights which may vary from country to country. Not recommended for children under twelve years of age. Batteries not included. Limit 1 per customer. Does not come with any other figures. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Some settling may have occurred during shipping. Keep away from open flame or spark. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. All rights reserved. List each check separately by bank number. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. Parental discretion advised. No other warranty expressed or implied. Unauthorized copying strictly prohibited. Do not read while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. In case of eye contact, flush with water. Subject to approval. This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. Do not fold, spindle, or mutilate. Use other side for additional listings. For recreational use only. Shipping and handling extra. No animals were harmed in the production of this disclaimer. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician. Freshest if consumed before date on carton. Mileage may vary depending on driving conditions. Prices subject to change without notice. Times approximate. No postage necessary if mailed in Singapore. Not a toy. If swallowed, do not induce vomiting. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. We reserve the right to limit quantities. One size fits all. Do not leave funds without collecting a receipt. Many suitcases look alike. Contains a substantial amount of non-active ingredients. Colors may, in time, fade. We have sent the forms which seem to be right for you. Slippery when wet. This product is only warranted to the original retail purchaser or gift recipient. For office use only. Net weight before cooking. Not affiliated with the Red Cross. Surfaces should be clean of paint, grease, dirt, etc. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television. Keep cool; process promptly. $2.98/min AE/V/MC. Post office will not deliver without postage. Simulated picture. List was current at time of printing. Penalty for private use. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. Do not expose to direct sunlight. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error, or failure to perform. No Canadian coins. Do not puncture or incinerate empty container. See label for sequence. Prices subject to change without notice. Do not write below this line. Time lock safe, clerk cannot open. Product sold by weight, not by volume. At participating locations only. Serial numbers must be visible. Align parts carefully, then bond. Not to be sold to minors. Product of more than one country. Falling rock zone. Keep out of reach of children. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Your cancelled check is your receipt. Check paper path. Place stamp here. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Penalty for early withdrawal. Sign here without admitting guilt. No solicitors. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. Storage temperature: -30 C (-22 F) to 40 C (104 F). Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of dog. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. No purchase necessary. Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery. You must be present to win. No passes accepted for this engagement. Extinguish all pilot lights. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. Shading within a garment may occur. Use only in well-ventilated areas. Replace with same type. Accessories sold separately. Booths for two or more. Check here if tax deductible. Keep away from fire or flame. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes. Hard hat area. Prerecorded for this time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited. Adults 18 and over only. Detach and keep for your reference. No alcohol, dogs, or horses. Demo package, not for resale. List at least two alternate dates. First pull up, then pull down. Call toll free before deciding. Driver does not carry cash. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. This supersedes all previous notices. Tag not to be removed under penalty of law.
Disclaimer: This is meant for educational purposes only. Send no money now. Ask your doctor or pharmacist. To prevent electric shock, do not open back panel. No user serviceable parts inside. You may or may not have additional rights which may vary from country to country. Not recommended for children under twelve years of age. Batteries not included. Limit 1 per customer. Does not come with any other figures. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Some settling may have occurred during shipping. Keep away from open flame or spark. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. All rights reserved. List each check separately by bank number. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. Parental discretion advised. No other warranty expressed or implied. Unauthorized copying strictly prohibited. Do not read while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. In case of eye contact, flush with water. Subject to approval. This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. Do not fold, spindle, or mutilate. Use other side for additional listings. For recreational use only. Shipping and handling extra. No animals were harmed in the production of this disclaimer. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician. Freshest if consumed before date on carton. Mileage may vary depending on driving conditions. Prices subject to change without notice. Times approximate. No postage necessary if mailed in Singapore. Not a toy. If swallowed, do not induce vomiting. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. We reserve the right to limit quantities. One size fits all. Do not leave funds without collecting a receipt. Many suitcases look alike. Contains a substantial amount of non-active ingredients. Colors may, in time, fade. We have sent the forms which seem to be right for you. Slippery when wet. This product is only warranted to the original retail purchaser or gift recipient. For office use only. Net weight before cooking. Not affiliated with the Red Cross. Surfaces should be clean of paint, grease, dirt, etc. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television. Keep cool; process promptly. $2.98/min AE/V/MC. Post office will not deliver without postage. Simulated picture. List was current at time of printing. Penalty for private use. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. Do not expose to direct sunlight. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error, or failure to perform. No Canadian coins. Do not puncture or incinerate empty container. See label for sequence. Prices subject to change without notice. Do not write below this line. Time lock safe, clerk cannot open. Product sold by weight, not by volume. At participating locations only. Serial numbers must be visible. Align parts carefully, then bond. Not to be sold to minors. Product of more than one country. Falling rock zone. Keep out of reach of children. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Your cancelled check is your receipt. Check paper path. Place stamp here. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Penalty for early withdrawal. Sign here without admitting guilt. No solicitors. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. Storage temperature: -30 C (-22 F) to 40 C (104 F). Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of dog. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. No purchase necessary. Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery. You must be present to win. No passes accepted for this engagement. Extinguish all pilot lights. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. Shading within a garment may occur. Use only in well-ventilated areas. Replace with same type. Accessories sold separately. Booths for two or more. Check here if tax deductible. Keep away from fire or flame. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes. Hard hat area. Prerecorded for this time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited. Adults 18 and over only. Detach and keep for your reference. No alcohol, dogs, or horses. Demo package, not for resale. List at least two alternate dates. First pull up, then pull down. Call toll free before deciding. Driver does not carry cash. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. This supersedes all previous notices. Tag not to be removed under penalty of law.
A bit of trivia about "The Prisoner"
When I was young, I was passionately fond of The Prisoner, a British TV show starring Patrick McGoohan. When my ex, I, and a couple of dear friends all romped off to England, I was determined to see the place where the show had been filmed.
The Prisoner was filmed at Portmeirion an odd but attractive resort in North Wales on the coast right near the town of Pennrhyndeudraeth. (It's very easy to say; give it a try!) Portmeirion was the brainchild of a noted architect and designer, Sir Clough Williams-Ellis. Patrick McGoohan was there often; he enjoyed getting away from the city and spending time there relaxing.
I was there in 1986 for an afternoon and it was delightfully strange to walk up and down the streets that I'd seen on the toob so often. The cottage that was #6's home is a Prisoner tourist shop. I bought an album of Prisoner soundtrack music done by Ron Grainer and a Prisoner t-shirt, which has the Ordinary logo on it. I fully expected to see Rovers bouncing slowly up the streets. All the interiors were done at Borham Wood studios, though, so #2's Green Dome (which was closed for repairs inside) is actually rather small.
To get to Pennrhyndeudraeth and Portmeirion, we drove across from Ruthin (on the Northeastern border of Wales) and then back again in a day. It was a longish drive, made worse by the fact that North Wales is what Tolkien used as his model for the worst parts of Mordor. It's all slate rubble, there are no trees, and the only natural vegetation is this ugly, scraggly orange weed. The towns are made of polished slate, so they're all black, too. It was misting, so everything looked blacker still, greasy, and unpleasant. What could have made it any worse? Well, as it happens, that was the very day that Chernobyl exploded, so we were being bathed in fallout and didn't know it. One day's difference and we would have missed it. Alas.
The Prisoner was filmed at Portmeirion an odd but attractive resort in North Wales on the coast right near the town of Pennrhyndeudraeth. (It's very easy to say; give it a try!) Portmeirion was the brainchild of a noted architect and designer, Sir Clough Williams-Ellis. Patrick McGoohan was there often; he enjoyed getting away from the city and spending time there relaxing.
I was there in 1986 for an afternoon and it was delightfully strange to walk up and down the streets that I'd seen on the toob so often. The cottage that was #6's home is a Prisoner tourist shop. I bought an album of Prisoner soundtrack music done by Ron Grainer and a Prisoner t-shirt, which has the Ordinary logo on it. I fully expected to see Rovers bouncing slowly up the streets. All the interiors were done at Borham Wood studios, though, so #2's Green Dome (which was closed for repairs inside) is actually rather small.
To get to Pennrhyndeudraeth and Portmeirion, we drove across from Ruthin (on the Northeastern border of Wales) and then back again in a day. It was a longish drive, made worse by the fact that North Wales is what Tolkien used as his model for the worst parts of Mordor. It's all slate rubble, there are no trees, and the only natural vegetation is this ugly, scraggly orange weed. The towns are made of polished slate, so they're all black, too. It was misting, so everything looked blacker still, greasy, and unpleasant. What could have made it any worse? Well, as it happens, that was the very day that Chernobyl exploded, so we were being bathed in fallout and didn't know it. One day's difference and we would have missed it. Alas.
Friday, December 21, 2007
A Blessed Solstice to All!
Cece, a friend of mine in Tucson, uses the following as her sig. I love it:
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave
with the intention of arriving safely
in an attractive and well preserved body,
but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand,
wine in the other, body thoroughly used up,
totally worn out and screaming
"WOO HOO, what a ride!"
with the intention of arriving safely
in an attractive and well preserved body,
but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand,
wine in the other, body thoroughly used up,
totally worn out and screaming
"WOO HOO, what a ride!"
Saturday, December 08, 2007
Thanksgiving weekend in Tacoma
We spent Thanksgiving weekend in Tacoma with The Babe's family, though we were able to break away for a day on Saturday and visit a few friends. I got to see my dear friend Kim and we stopped to see Elisabeth, Lonnie, and Zen. In the evening, we were able to do dinner with the Babe's old friends Bruce and Stacy--for those of you who were at our wedding, Stacy was the woman who sang You Are My Home (from The Scarlet Pimpernel)--in downtown Seattle.
Bruce and Stacy have a charming son, Elliot, who did not accompany them. Elliot's, uh, 3 years old. When Stacy left Elliot with her mother for the evening, her mother said "Who are you going to dinner with?" Stacy explained that they were going to dinner with her old drama partner and her husband. "What's her husband do?" Stacy's mother asked.
After thinking a second, Stacy said "He's a banjo-playing technical writer."
Her mother snorted and said "Where'd she meet him? On the Internet?"
Stacy said "Yes..."
Later that evening, the Babe googled "banjo player technical writer," thinking that there would probably be just me. She was horrified to discover this produced 159,000 hits using those criteria. The Babe explained that she'd always felt that one banjo-playing technical writer was a sufficient quantity.
Bruce and Stacy have a charming son, Elliot, who did not accompany them. Elliot's, uh, 3 years old. When Stacy left Elliot with her mother for the evening, her mother said "Who are you going to dinner with?" Stacy explained that they were going to dinner with her old drama partner and her husband. "What's her husband do?" Stacy's mother asked.
After thinking a second, Stacy said "He's a banjo-playing technical writer."
Her mother snorted and said "Where'd she meet him? On the Internet?"
Stacy said "Yes..."
Later that evening, the Babe googled "banjo player technical writer," thinking that there would probably be just me. She was horrified to discover this produced 159,000 hits using those criteria. The Babe explained that she'd always felt that one banjo-playing technical writer was a sufficient quantity.
Friday, December 07, 2007
Thought du jour
A great quote coming out of Indiana, no less!
"There's no evidence that seat belts have increased reckless driving.
There is no evidence that when we get tetanus shots, we seek rusty nails."
-- Judy Monroe, Indiana health commissioner on the subject of an STD vaccination (Merck's Gardasil) "promoting" sex among teenagers.
Thursday, December 06, 2007
Phrase du jour: "Computer bardo"
The phrase of the day is Computer bardo. The following is taken from the original Wikipedia article:
The Tibetan word Bardo means literally "intermediate state" - also translated as "transitional state" or "in-between state" or "liminal state". ... In the West, the term bardo may also refer to times when our usual way of life becomes suspended ...
The Computer Bardo is that time taken waiting for a response from a computer. It may be, for example, after double-clicking on a file and waiting for it to load, waiting for a Web page to load, waiting for the Start Menu to appear after clicking Start, waiting for your login/reboot to end, waiting for a window to maximize, etc.
The Computer Bardo is typically wasted time, where life is suspended staring at a computer screen with an idle mind. It is not yet known how much time is spent in this state, but it is likely to be considerable, although divided into many short intervals.
During this time it is difficult, but not impossible, to do anything practical. One can train oneself to make use of the time, initially spending a few seconds doing a crossword, reading a short article, or meditating. With training, this time can be reclaimed to a certain extent.
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
Some jokes just write themselves, y'know?
This was pointed out to me today:
The Complete Idiot's Guide to Understanding Intelligent Design
Okay, class, now, what was the definition of "irony" again?
The Complete Idiot's Guide to Understanding Intelligent Design
Okay, class, now, what was the definition of "irony" again?
Sunday, November 18, 2007
DVD of me in concert
July 4th 1993, I did a concert at Westercon 46. It was possibly one of the best I've ever done. Turns out the video tapes of that concert have been transcribed to DVD and Phil Zack, bless 'is heart, sent me one. It's wonderful to see me from 14 years ago--I had HAIR! and it was BROWN, not SILVER! It's a little annoying to hear that I go flat but I always knew that {sigh}. Nevertheless, it's a really fun piece of me and I'm glad to have it.
I'll be glad to make you a copy; drop me email and let me know and I'll mail you one.
I'll be glad to make you a copy; drop me email and let me know and I'll mail you one.
Friday, November 16, 2007
Hey, wanna great job in Iraq doing customer support?
This lapidary little item just came in from David Silva, freelance journalist and incredibly funny writer.
Just came across a job listing for an entry-level position as a help desk operator in Iraq. The job offers a "competitive salary, bonus pay, comprehensive health plan, and a friendly and supportive work environment. Lunch meals provided."You know, as if support wasn't a hard enough job as it is....
I've been sitting here imagining the kinds of calls I'd get manning a help desk in Iraq.
"Help desk. How may I provide you with excellent service today?"
"Um, hi. I keep getting this error message on my PC... it says there's a device with an unsupported format attached to my USB port. Should I pull the port plug out, or...?"
"I wouldn't advise that at this moment, sir. What kind of operating system are using?"
"Windows Vista."
"No, I definitely wouldn't pull the port plug out at this time. Hey, Bob, we got another Vista IED! Sorry, sir; may I ask how many browsers you currently have open?"
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