"But if we get rid of Trump, we're stuck with Pence!"

For over a year now, people have been saying "But if we get rid of Trump, we'll have Pence. And he's worse." I have a few thoughts on that that have only recently gelled I'd like to share with you.

First of all, Trump is a buffoon, a man with no soul, no brain, a grotesque toadlike fart with no morals whose only allegiances are to his belly, his dick, and his wallet. There is nothing about him that can be effectively said to describe his character and his life for which the addition of profanity cannot but make more vivid. (His adult crotchfruit are really no better, being equally horrible people who remind one of family members in the classic Twilight Zone episode, "The Masks.")

Trump's ignorance, bigotry, misogyny, and racism are as profound as anyone has probably ever met in this country. He is a walking turd who disgraces this country every second he's in office. When he dies, probably of a massive stroke, he will be mocked and derided for being the colossal failure that he was and the world will be a better place on average for his passing.

And despite all this, Pence is worse.

Pence is actually smart. He has a fair understanding of the political system (Trump takes cluelessness to a real level on this one) and he did get to be Governor of the state of Indiana more-or-less on his own.

But Pence is completely evil. He's vastly homophobic. He believes in conversion therapy for gays. He doesn't care about women's rights, women's health, or women. He thinks his brand of Christianity is the One Right True and Only religion for all and he will inflict that on us. He doesn't care about the planet, other animals, the Great Melting Pot of America, or anything but the warped, small, twisted view of the world that he has. Pence reminds me of a sneaky little shit who never really grew up but always resented that nobody liked him (with really good reason). But now he's going to make us all pay!

That's really what I've realized and why there may be less of a problem than we think. Yes, Trump is a flatulent jackass who doesn't know how things are done. Raising the stresses on him from Mueller and everyone else will do truly wonderful things for the blood pressure of a 71yo man who believes exercise is bad and who eats fast food regularly. He could keel over at any moment. And then we'd have Pence, who is smart and probably believes all that weird fundie bullshit he's passing off as "Christianity."

But there's an odd difference: people seem to like what Trump stands for. Oh, yeah, his followers are willing to double down on pretty much any bullshit he says, but Trump has the charisma of a narcissist and it takes self-confidence and having been through the mill with a narcissist at least once before to really inoculate yourself against the blandishments of other narcissists. People still like him (mostly those who haven't met him in person).

Pence is not likeable. I don't think he makes deals well because people automatically don't trust him. He's still got "sneaky little shit" stamped all over him. As a result, when Trump's gone, I don't think Pence is going to be a lot more effective. He'll still be evil, sure, but I think he's not going to get even the support Trump does in Congress. And that would all be a lovely thought.

"But if we get rid of Trump, we're stuck with Pence!"

Trump is a narcissist and why that makes a difference

(Note: I wrote this January 11, 2017, on FB, but seeing how many times it's been reposted since then, I think I'd like to save it. Trump's still around, so this is still relevant.)

People have been saying that, when dealing with Trump (and the GOP), we have to maintain our civility, our dignity, our sense of discourse. And it occurs to me that there's something they don't know about the situation that's key.

Trump is a narcissist. (Is there anyone other than a Trump supporter that doesn't know this by now?) But what a lot of these let's-stay-civil types don't know is how narcissists work. (Chances are they've never had to deal with one up close and personal before.)

Narcissists don't see anyone else as real. We're not important. What's important to them is winning. There is no honor, no civility, nothing; it's all about them. This is why there's all the lying that we've already seen, much of which takes the "who are you going to believe, me or your lying eyes" form of gaslighting. ("No, I didn't make fun of a disabled reporter," for example.) And when caught in one lie, they'll lie again, frequently within seconds of the first lie. I've experienced this personally and you can watch the orange shitgibbon do the same thing.

The problem is that the let's-be-civil types are working on the idea that "Well, Trump is a human being, there's some place where we can work with him, some deal we can make, some contract of behavior/interaction that we can spell out minutely enough that will nail him down to something we can depend on," and the short answer is "No." You simply cannot do this. (Want proof? How many times has he fucked over contractors/business partners? Look at the list of 5000+ lawsuits against him that the NY Times compiled shortly before the election. Wouldn't you think that's a record for someone so... successful?) You need to go back to the basic concept: we don't exist except as a backdrop to the narcissist's beliefs that it's All About Them.

Keep this in mind: There isn't anything you can do to deal with a narcissist.

Nothing.

Zero.

Zip.

You can offer them the moon and they'll take it, but you can't depend on them to do what they agreed to, even for the moon. In fact, many of them will make a POINT of screwing you on the deal if only to prove that they can and you're not as important as them. Therefore, any attempt to deal with them is automatically doomed to failure.

Even worse, narcissists count on you being civil, being nice, not being ready for them. They're lying in wait for you and they will immediately start the games as soon as you show up.

So, what does work when dealing with narcissists?

Ignoring them when possible. (We can't in this case, alas.)

Scorn.

Mockery.

Public humiliation on as big a scale as can be managed.

You cannot "reach" a narcissist--they are completely unfixable--and anything based on the idea of "Oh, but they're human, there's some good in them, we should be nice because WE are people and should be nicer than them" is going to get you fucked over. And fucked over again. And again. Until you damn well sane up and get to the idea that there is Only One Thing that will stop a narcissist, you're going to have "Victim" on your forehead. And the narcissist will always take advantage of that.

One of the helpful things is that narcissists really don't have a lot of game. Oh, they're clever enough at the gaslighting they do, but they're not really inventive nor, usually, terribly bright, either. They'll copy and steal whatever gag works, but they aren't original. Honestly, they rarely need to be. All those hotel deals gone bad are always the same, have you noticed? There's nothing new about them except the latest crop of victims. Other than that, they're the same old tired gag each time. Watch them and make mental notes. The first narcissist I knew tipped his hand by telling me the same story from his past in four slightly different versions over the course of maybe a year. Each time it was supposedly an exact recollection. And I started watching very, very closely at that point.

I've known two narcissists in my life of Trump's caliber. One's dead--yay!--and one's still alive. I've seen all the behaviors that Trump is exhibiting up close and personal and I know exactly what needs to be done with narcissists. I no longer waste time in thinking that there may be some way to reach them, some way to deal with them, some way to accept them as a person, because they're unreachable, untrustworthy, and not really "people." And the sooner you all get to this level of understanding and stop being "nice" and start mocking and scorning the orange shitgibbon at every possible turn, the better off you'll be, too.

You may say "But we'll be no better than he is, then!" Actually, yes, you will, always. You're automatically better because you care about other people. What you're doing is isolating a major disease vector and squeezing it out of existence in the only way possible. It's impervious to anything else. It's okay to be unhappy that you have to do this, but you're simply not allowed to kill people like this, so mockery, scorn, and laughing and pointing are the tools you have. Use them.

Trump is a narcissist and why that makes a difference